


last words (that i never got to say)

by nazuniichans



Category: Ensemble Stars
Genre: Angst, Body Horror, Character Death, Gen, Hanging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:27:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22923325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nazuniichans/pseuds/nazuniichans
Summary: My friends are running a murder mystery RP. Mika and Shu were chosen. Shu was killed prior and hung up like a Marionette Doll besides Mika, who was alive until he was eventually dropped and hung by wires in the theatre hall. Both deaths were executed infront of Nazuna, who was asked questions about Valkyrie prior to Mika’s death.Last words are a channel in the server where we can share what our characters think before passing.I wrote my last words for Mika here and put alot of effort into it so, I wanted to share more than just in the server. I hope it causes you pain as much as it caused me pain.In this AU, Mika is in love with both Arashi and Shu. And I tagged Nazuna because he just feels so intensely for his Nazuna-nii :’) enjoy!
Relationships: Itsuki Shuu/Kagehira Mika, Kagehira Mika/Narukami Arashi, Kagehira Mika/Nito Nazuna
Comments: 5
Kudos: 18





	last words (that i never got to say)

_Was it a bad thing tha’ once that last wire was snipped n’ I fell... I was relieved?_

Mika’s hands immediately went to his throat the second he was dropped, eyes forcefully teary. There were so many tears; everything was spotty and blurry. Or was that just his oxygen getting cut off from the wire digging into his neck? He couldn’t tell anymore and he tried to fight it— kicking his legs and squirming, but everything was heavy. **Heavy**.

His fingers attempted to pry underneath the wire of his neck, to snap it— why was he fighting? Didn’t he want to die? Or was this just a normal reaction to dying? 

_That minute I was hangin’ there... felt like an eternity.... lots was going through my mind. There’s so many people I wanted ta talk ta, ta make sure they were safe, n yet... I couldn’. I got too swirled up in m’ emotions n couldn’... I really was a useless doll until th’ very end. I couldn’t ‘ven catch the killer.._

**Ah, it hurts… these threads really hurt…I can’t breathe... is this how it feels to just be a doll?**

_To all the kids back in Kansai,_

_I didn’t expect my last visit home would b’ my last. Some of ya were so happy when ya saw me, crying out “Mika-nii! Mika-nii!”.. it made me so happy that ya didn’ forget me. Ya wanted ta see all the outfits I had brought wit’ me ta show off how great Oshi-san was, ya asked me all sorts of questions, and looked at m wit’ stars in yer eyes. I truly felt loved when I came back. Some of ya wanna go to Yumenosaki next year… and let me tell ya! Yer gonna have some great senpai’s to look ‘fter ya. Mika-nii only wishes he coulda been there, maybe convinced Oshi-san ta invite one of ya in or mayb’ put ya in Handicrafts club! But… regardless, pleas’ be nice to yer senpais and dont talk back ta them. I know how rowdy ya guys get and Ill b’ proud of ya no matter path ya choose._

_Undead,_

_Oogami-kun.. I never got ta apologize to ya n’ Im really sorry ‘bout punchin’ ya in the face. I hope it didn’ hurt too bad. I know ya were just tryin ta help everyone else, yer really so kind and thoughtful. Oogami-kun is someone who takes people’s emotions and burdens them on himself and then never talks bout it because he’d rather keep it ta himself than let anyone else know. Ya should open up ta people more often, n Im sorry th one time ya did with m, I went and ran my big mouth… but Ill be there to watch ya and make sure yer atleast havin’ someone ta listen to when yer upset, even if ya don’ know Im there. Hopefully ya do end up finding out who th’ bastard is.. and take revenge for m’..._

_Ah, news spread round ‘bout the Undead senpais but I still wanna thank ya… we performed at the underground live together lots and Oshi-san really loved Sakuma-senpai a whole lot. Thank ya for being such a good friend ta him and being there fer him. I hope yer taking care ‘f him until I get there cause ‘es probably freakin out bout me now.._

_Hakaze-senpai, yer were a really sensible and cool guy, I sort ‘f looked up ta ya and admired ya, really. Ya better be helping Sakuma-senpai up there with Oshi-san.. hes kinda a handful._

_And Otagari-kun.. we didn’ talk much but ya really were so nice ta talk to and yer presence is one I could never forget. Yer so gentle n’ kind.. I wish Undead and Valkyrie could have performed together or somethin’ at once. Yer all so brave while ya were here n’ I know it wont be easy from here on out, but ya will make it._

**I really thought I was taking steps into being human**

_Class 2B,_

_M’dear classmates I barely got ta see this whole trip… atleast most of ya are alive n’ that makes me real happy. None of ya deserve the tragedy of what’s going on here._

_Isara-kun, you’ve probably been real stressed out because of everythin’ goin on, but Prez, dont stress yerself ta death. Rikkun really is strugglin right now, so he probably needs ya.. please go ta him and give him lots of comfort. Yer a guy anyone and everyone wants ta rely on an’ I know that comes with alot of stress, but ya manage it so well, somehow. Never looked a day over 16!! … Well, mayb that one day ya stayed overnight at Yumenosaki but point is ya handle yerself!_

_And Rikkun… ‘s horrible how many people yer losin during this. I wish I could have comforted ya better. That day in the graveyard.. I had th chance but.. ‘m sorry fer being so selfish and not doin’ somethin fer ya. I always knew Naru-chan loved ya a whole lot so Naturally I wanted to be yer friend despite bein’ bad with people. And somehow, we managed it n’ had some good times together. Make sure ya nap really hard after all of this is over, oke?_

_Ah, Oogami-kun I already said something ta ya but ‘m still real sorry ‘bout yer face!! Real real sorry!! >.< _

_Nnha… who’s next.. ah.. Yukkun. Yukkun always worried bout me so much.. fer once I didnt mind someone frettin’ over m, cause ya were just so geniune doin’ it.. despite ya being in Fine, ye really went out of yer way ta care bout me and Oshi-san and Ill never forget that kindness. I was suppose ta hate ya.. but Yukkun’s just so pleasant, I couldn’t possibly hate ya..~ I ended up being close to ya in all actuality, and Yukkun is so cool.. make sure to hold Tori-kun close n’ get out here. If anyone can, ‘s definitely ya._

_Naru-chan.. Arashi… I know ya probably didn’ want me ta join ya up there, but ‘m comin’ anyway. The time we spent together on earth, yer and m’ last few days here… ya made me smile s’much despite all th’ misery.. But Naru-chan’s always done tha’. In our first year, ya talked to me if I needed someone or needed advice fer things, always so undeniably kind and one ‘f the few people I somehow managed ta trust.. I know ya got frustrated with m’ lots too and wanted ta hit me, saying “Mika-chan!! Dont say that about yourself!!” or disapproved ‘f my feelings towards Oshi-san. I know ya were just lookin out fer me. Ya supported me, loved m’, cheered m’ on, and gave m’ an irreplaceable friend I never wanted ta live without. Girls were always easier fer me ta get along with, so ya were really a blessin’ and made my time in Yumenosaki easier. And somehow, that love got stronger. Whether it was impulsive or not, I don't regret a single kiss I gave ya yer last few days here. Ya made me feel so many.. things so fast. Feelings I wasn’t even sure I could show, tha’ I was capable of. Being with ya… made m’ feel human. It was easy. It was just natural. So.. Naru-chan, when I get up there.. pleas’ kiss m’ once more. I really miss ya. It’s been so hard without ya. I cant wait for ya to hold m’ again._

**It isn’t a bad thing though. Bein’ Oshi-san’s doll till the end… Yeah, if I had ta one way, Im glad tha’ was it.**

_Rabbits kids,_

_There’s lots of regret here n ‘m sorry fer all the times I was rude ta ya… both in yer face and behind yer back… none of ya deserved the treatment I gave ya in the past and yet, still treated me and Oshi-san kindly. Ya always made Nazuna-nii smile and brought out the best in him. It made m’ really jealous I couldn’ do the same. but overtime, the lives we did together, the struggles, repaymentfes.. everythin’. I wish I coulda been a better senpai to ya all— it hurt’s that I couldn’t. Ya remind me ‘f the kids back home that I so desperately wanted ta take care of… but couldn’ due to m’ brain bein stupid. I see now why Nazuna-nii chose ya like he did and what he saw in ya all. He raised ya with so much love n’ care and shaped ya into real idols like that. Continue ta enforce his hard work, n’ I know ya will, so I feel like I dont ‘ve have ta say it. He’s gonna be sad for a while after this, so make sure ya do what ya rabbits do best n’ that’s ta make him smile. I wish I could have got ta know ya all better n’ I regret so much wasted time on m’ end ignoring ya. Ya all are great kids and yer gonna do great things, n’ please take real good care of my Nazuna-nii._

His gaze fell on Nazuna, who only looked at him with pure despair and sadness. Mika wanted to speak, to hush those concerns, but the only thing he could manage was breathy pants and choked noises. But his lips managed to turn into a small smile as his hands slowly lowered from his neck.

_Ah.. Nazuna-nii... ya look so scared... please don’ look at me like tha’ Nazuna-nii. I’ll be ok... Yer so pretty whenever ya cry, ‘s really so unfair... I-I mean! Ya always look pretty, not jus’ when yer crying!_

_But... Ne, Nazuna-nii... do ya remember the first time I came inta the Handicrafts room to meet ya n’ ya called me an angel? It made me real happy ta hear that ‘ven if I couldn’ believe ya would think a busted thing like m’ was somethin worthy ‘f being called an angel. Yer smile was always so radiant— if anythin’, ya were the angel Nazuna-nii.. and me and Oshi-san were so hooked on yer light. I would do anythin’ ta see that precious smile ‘f yers again. So I made ya outfits, ‘ven if I wasn’ super good at it... but ya appreciated them n’ gave me those smiles. The good times we had in Valkyrie... I treasured them all s’much. ‘Ven if Im proud of Oshi-san and I’s Valkyrie now— ya being there was so important, even if we all fell together n ended up as broken dolls. All of th’ stupid agruments we’d have, all ‘f the times me and ya would gang up on Oshi-san n’ annoy ya.. All those times ya tried to silently fight fer m’ even though there wasn’ much ya can do... it wasn’t yer fault. For anythin’. I know ya blame yerself so much over what happened ta Valkyrie, I’ve even blamed ya... I blamed ya so much, Nazuna-ni. But ‘ven Ive long accepted it was inevitable... Is this some sort ‘f execution trial for our actions we took back then?_

_Nazuna-nii really is s’ kind.. Ah, are ya trying ta even reach ta me now? Nazuna-nii... yer too short ya cant even if ya tried... ‘s fine if I die like this. Atleast I get to look at ya one last time. Thank ya for trying to save me. Ya always have, even now. ‘m happy. I really am. Getting to die with Oshi-san by my side... and knowing ya will be ok... ‘m happy.. I only wished I could have protected ‘im too.. but Valkyrie will continue ta be eternal this way. Please dont cry too much ‘ver us, Nazuna-nii. Those kids still need ya to be their Niichan, so when everythin’ is done here, yer gonna do what ya have been doing this whole year. Despite th’ struggles, despite ya constantly losing and failing... yer gonna get up n’ press on. Yer gonna do so many great things in yer life.. I know it... and I know Oshi-san feels th’ same way. That’s the Nazuna-nii we love n’ adore.. Ill miss ya so much. You’ll always be my Nazuna-nii. I love ya forever._

He wasn’t breathing anymore, it was too hard. Mika really was dying. Everything was warm and his face was flushing, probably turning purple. If he were to try and look around, nothing would make sense; his gaze was barely focused as his head lulled back and to the side, staring at Shu lifeless beside him. More hot tears pushed out at the sight, but any sobs was getting caught by the wire and swallowing them out. 

His limbs had stopped their struggling and Mika went slowly limp, vision fading _._

_Oshi-san…_

_Didnt I say I’d be there with ya ‘ven if we were dragged ta hell?_

_No one ever compares ta ya in m’head. I think ya were taken away because this world wasn’ ready for Valkyrie. It wasn’ ready for how ya were gonna shine on it n’ get everythin ya ever wanted. N’ it’s so cruel but ya were just perhaps too great of a genius fer anyone ta be ready. It makes me s angry that th’ person who did this ta us… couldn’t spend th’ time ta put ya in the best clothes tailored, clean ya up, and make ya look like th’ most ethereal bein’ imaginable. They mocked ya. It makes me s’angry cause Oshi-san didn’t deserve such a painful death… what have ya ever done wrong ta deserve such mistreatment? I really wont forgive em. I really wont. They touched m’ most precious thing. ‘f I wasn’ dyin right now Oshi-san… I’d make sure to get you down from there… make sure yer s’pretty… and then I’d happily die with ya. ‘m so sorry I couldn’t protect ya.. ‘m so sorry Oshi-san…_

_There was so much I wanted ta say to ya that I couldn’t. So much. There’s this part ‘f me that is convinced tha’ we were soulmates. Afterall, why did we meet all those years ago? But I kept thinking ta myself… do I really deserve this kinda kindness? Do I really deserve ta be in your presence? Do I really deserve_ **you** **_?_ **

_Th’ constant answer in my head was_ **no.** I _didn’. Why would I? When ya get thrown away by th’ two people who were suppose ta love ya when no matter what… who would really love you ‘fter tha’? Someone who’s parents didn’ even want ‘em?_

_.. But ya found me, we met once, very briefly, and then I followed ya. I followed ya and followed ya and followed ya until ya let me in. And even then, it wasn’ that simple. Nazuna-nii was struggling, the War happened.. Oshi-san was s’stressed and not himself. But I never left yer side. I never wanted ta. Not even when we were suspended in th’ air like that… I truly thought… this is how I wanted ta die. Right by your side, Oshi-san._

_I dont regret a secon’ of m’ bein’ there. Everyone told me ta leave ya, that yer were useless, and they were all_ **wrong** , _cause Oshi-san is the.. is th’ most wonderful, kindest, n’ smartest person alive. No one could ever compare ta ya and how much ya have done fer me. Ya took me inta yer home, fed me, bathed me, made m’ inta an idol and shared yer artwork wit’ me. Ya were so hard on m’ sometimes, but I know it was only cause ya loved Valkyrie and didn’ want us ta fail. I knew Oshi-san better than anyone and how much ya tried ta protect us.. me and Nazuna-nii.. n’ seeing ya in pain… was th’ worst thing that’s ever happened ta me. It was during tha’ time when I decided.. I really wasn’ going anywhere. Ya needed someone, anyone ta be by ya and stay by yer side. And I would gladly do it all ‘ver again, Oshi-san._

_There’s no one.. in th’ world that I adore and love more than ya. Shu Itsuki. My Mentor. Leader of Valkyrie.. I wanted ta die by your side more peacefully, when we’re older and happier. When yer all wrinkly (‘ven if ya wanted ta die young, I wouldn’ have let ya) and still sewin’ things until ‘m rushing ya off ta bed because ya stayed up too late again. But.. ‘m really so happy Oshi-san… I really am… and I get ta see ya again so soon._

Mika’s body hung by the thread, no motion left in him as the final breath left his body and that smile dropped from his lips.

𝙐𝙣𝙛𝙪𝙡𝙛𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙖 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙤𝙛 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙

𝙄𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧

**Author's Note:**

> follow me at @sajonoroukaku for more exvalk hurty


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